State Launches Hotline For Voters Experiencing Buyer's Remorse: Reminds Callers It's A Six-Year Lease

AUGUSTA, ME. Less than a day after polls closed, the Secretary of State's office announced a toll-free hotline for Mainers who woke up Wednesday morning feeling uneasy about their Senate vote.

"We've had a lot of calls," said a department spokesman. "Some people want a refund. Some people want to speak to a manager. We want every caller to know their feelings are valid and their vote is final."

Callers to 1-800-AYUH-OOPS are greeted by a recorded message from a calm voice with a Bangor accent. The menu offers the following options. Press 1 if you voted for Troy Jackson and now regret it. Press 2 if you voted for Troy Jackson and now regret it but would like to blame the ads. Press 3 to learn how long six years is. Press 4 to hear a recording of Susan Collins saying she is concerned. Press 0 to be placed on hold until the next election.

Option 3 is reportedly the most popular. It plays a slow reading of every month between now and January 2033, followed by a reminder that the lease does not include an early termination clause.

Hotline staff said most calls come from towns that voted for Jackson by wide margins. Workers have been trained to listen patiently and suggest that the caller try a nice walk.

State officials confirmed the hotline would remain staffed through mud season. Callers from Portland were reported to make up nearly half of all calls, though staff noted that a large share of those callers had moved to Portland from Massachusetts within the last four years and were mostly asking whether the Senate result affected their short-term rental permits.